October 27, 2011

Bored or Boring?

I can't tell if I am just generally bored during the days, or if I have, sadly, become boring...I think its a little bit of both? I have nothing in my life to plan right now. For a little while, I really struggled with that. I had planned our wedding for 15 months, planned my monthly/weekly/semesterly schedule for four years. Juggled multiple jobs, projects, papers, being with Miles, having friends to see, staying up late...And now I watch a baby almost ten hours a day, five days a week. Most of my friends have either moved or have schedules so different from my own that I haven't seen them since either graduation or the wedding. 

I can think about grad school, think about my next job, think about buying a house, think about having babies--but none of that is going to happen any time soon, so theres not much to be done about it. I'm really trying to focus on living in the present. Loving these first few years of being Miles' wife. I've heard from so many (ahem, older) couples that their happiest memories were from when they were poor newlyweds, trying to figure out how to be married, how to be adults...So I don't want to miss these days! I don't want to dream of our future and miss out on how we get there. But I feel like there could be a fine line between being content and being complacent. 

Reel it in, reel it in. I'll admit it, I love Coldplay. People hate on them. Yes, they're so huge, Miles sticks his nose up at them because they don't have guitar solos. But I can't always listen to rock n roll. And I can't help it if this would be my go-to music for any sort of existential experience. It just is, alright? And this song from their new album is so beautiful I could cry. And I feel like its just pour moi.

Slow it down, Bethany. (my mind, not my actions...as discussed throughout this entire post)
Also, that video box just seems so tiny...

1 comment:

  1. You just described everything I'm feeling. Damn. Well said, girl.


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