Oy Vey

How ungrateful can I get? I get so frustrated with terrible drivers, when Miles can't read my mind over the phone, when I have to spend my evenings away from aforementioned adorable awful mind-reader. How can I not see how incredible it is that I have the opportunity to make extra money whilst watching super adorable kids who cuddle and profess their "wuf" for me? When Miles and I even have the privilege to be in the process of possibly buying a house--even if it doesn't work out...? That Miles got the promotion we've been waiting months for? Thats right, he got his promotion and I don't ever mention it and I go straight into complaint mode. Talk about ungrateful. Oy vey.

I got home about 6 hours ago, still just as frustrated with the day/week as experienced in the previous post. And really trying to fight off a bitter mood. I knew there was nothing to be bitter about. But you know those moods? Just so over everything under the sun? And so hard to shake? 

I had planned with Miles to go out and have fun tonight, but the mere thought just sent a deep sigh of exhaustion through my whole body. I am a pretty introverted person. I feel quite drained around large (even medium sized) groups of people. And having already had such a weird week, going out was not what I desired. Then a sense of utter dread filled me at the thought of confessing to Miles and backing out.  I didn't want him to not go out just because of me, and I didn't want to be guilted in to going out. Lo and behold, I never even had to bring the subject up. Miles saw me cuddle up with my duvet promptly after dinner, and told me I could just stay home and he'd be back at a reasonable hour. Amazing! Top moments of wifery (? spell check does not recognize) gratitude thus far. So soon after he left, I walked to the nearest redbox and got 50/50. It just so happened that the nearest redbox was in a grocery store, so I also bought snackz.

It looks weird, I know. But its Ritz baked chips (crackers?), [my attempt at] roasted butternut squash (it was mushy), and San Pellegrino. And everything was delish. It was so hard to stop with the baked chips. I mean, yikesabee (name that awful[ly amazing] movie). 

I wanted to watch something that would make them tears flow. And I succeeded! 50/50 was better than I thought it would be. I mean, Seth Rogen? I love him, but not when I want to cry...

There was one point in the movie when Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character (who is 27 and has cancer) is so frustrated and has reached his emotional breaking point exclaims something like, "I just want this to be over"! And dang, that cut me deep.  Who am I to really complain about having to deal with closing (or not) on a house? But really. I am so blessed. I have an amazing husband of 7 months who already knows when his wife needs an evening at home alone. 'Nuff said. (I also cried for his character's mom who had to deal with a husband with Alzheimer's as well as her son with cancer)(cannot fathom)

All that being said, movies, even completely fictional ones, can be so wonderfully humbling. And I knew all I needed was a good cry.