Right Now:

Reading: Still too many books, I'm still beginning new books before finishing old ones. I've just recently acknowledged that book buying is my personal addiction. Right, right now I'm reading the novel Don't Breathe a Word by Jennifer McMahon. Its apparently about fairies? I'm just on chapter two, I'll let you know. I'm hoping it will be a haunting page-turner that keeps me up, shivering my spine and enthralling me, way past my bed time. Because thats what Joshilyn Jackson said it would do.

Eating: Watermelon. Why didn't I crave it during the heat of the summer? Why are they so big? Miles hasn't wanted any watermelon at all, so when I buy one I have to eat at least two giant bowls of it a day before it goes mushy. So I chop em all up like I'm Dexter.

Listening to: A lot of NPR. Sometimes I'm not so sure that thats the best way to start my day. Also, pop fitness radio at the gym. I just heard Call Me Maybe for the first time two weeks. And then had it stuck in my head for another week.

Planning: I feel like...nothing. Which makes me sad, I love planning. I feel like Miles and I have been so busy with working and house stuff, we're too tired to do anything else. This week especially, I've been falling in the bed at 9 and hitting snooze on my alarm for as long as I can.

Wearing: The one sweater I have that isn't packed up with winter clothes! Oooh fall, I can feel you coming. 

Watching: New tv pilots, and getting giddy over Parks and Rec's return tonight. Miles and I also had an unintentional mini Wes Anderson marathon this week. I want to get two dogs and name them Ari and Uzi. Mark my words. 

Loving: The cold (okay, cool) mornings this week. These past few days have been ah-mazing. I sat out on our deck the other day after work, wrapped up in my sweater, with my fairy book in hand. I think I love the change from Summer to Fall more than any other season change. I feel so optimistic and refreshed. The cool breeze makes my skin tingle and my heart flutter. I drive around with my windows down and feel like I can take on the world. I'm not sure why this is exactly...My spirit just seems to respond to the relief from summer heat, to the anticipation of bonfires and s'mores, of changing leaves and crunchy lawns, of everyday sweater and boot wearing, of haunted houses and warm apple cider, of Thanksgiving and family and then, glory be, Christmas being right around the corner. So yes, I am loving that Fall is only two official days away..and that we got a sneak peek this year.

Also, I love my Rowan kitty.

Wanting: Three day weekends with Miles every week. Labor Day weekend was just too stinkin' good. 

Confessing: I've been living in my head a lot lately. Mostly over-thinking things that I really shouldn't be thinking about, getting frustrated over things that I shouldn't be frustrated by, worrying about things that are too far off in the future or completely out of my control. While I have loved begin a nanny, I think my in-head-living tendency has really grown a lot over the past 15 months. And with 8 more months to go, I don't really know how to break that, or if I even can.

I'm not a social butterfly, I don't need, nor do I want a million people around me or in my life all the time...but I've finally come to realize that I need, and want, to have more people in my life than I do currently. But I feel like I've fallen into this weird place where I can't remember how to increase that number of people in my life, aka "make new friends", or at least be a better friend to the friends I have. Sorry friends. Sowreh.

Life List

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about things I would like to learn how to do/do more often/make a habit out of.

Learn How To:

Sew.

French braid. I really have no idea...

Use my DSLR without it being on automatic.

Use Photoshop. (Elements or Lightroom? Which one should I get--aka, which one is easiest?)

Press flowers. Surely its not that difficult.

Source: rebeccacaridad.typepad.com via Bethany on Pinterest

Do More Often:

Stand up publicly for something I believe in. I'm shy, y'all. And a master excuse maker :(

Learn about, and get involved in, local politics.

See more musicals. Actually, can I just see Les Mis every month?

Spend more money on less clothes. aka, stop buying so much cheap junk.

Visit relatives in neighboring states.

Be more adventurous with my weekly meal planning. We eat a lot of the same things every week.
My B.

Go in to the salon for free bang trims instead of chopping them myself.

Eat at more family owned ethnic restaurants in our neighborhood.

Plan dates with Miles so we don't end up watching Netflix and eating pizza doing the same thing all the time.

Get out of Nashville for a weekend away with mahboo.

Source: prettystuff.tumblr.com via Bethany on Pinterest

Source: classy-in-the-city.tumblr.com via Bethany on Pinterest

Make Them Habits:

Plan ahead & buy more gifts on Etsy.

Don't go to Target/ The mall/Trader Joe's/Bookstores just to wander around with the nanny bebe on a rainy/hot day. (Ahem, ex-pen-sive)

Farmer's Market produce shopping.

Once In a Lifetime:

Be at a live NPR show taping.

Join:

A gym. Like woah.

The Belcourt--we really have no excuse for not having done so already

Source: belcourt.org via Bethany on Pinterest

Le Sigh, Will I Ever Learn?

I threw myself a pathetic pity party before I went to sleep last night. Miles did his best to cheer me up, but I was deep in it...for the smallest reasons (adding up to something a touch overwhelming). We still haven't closed. I've unpacked a little more of our stuff, but was reminded Friday that this house still isn't ours when the seller's wife came by the house and asked  bunch of weird questions about closing. We've been waiting for a month to close on this house, held up by a lot of things to do with the seller leaving the country (for a family emergency) without signing the proper documents for our closing. And on Friday, his wife basically asked me what the hold up was...

So there's that. 

And then a bunch of little silly things that I let build up in my mind, resulting in last night's tearfest.

Then, I woke up this morning feeling like a fool and my eyes still stinging from crying over...nothing, basically. Nothing that should hold any real weight in my life. Yes, we haven't really felt like we're at "home" for a couple months now, this process his dragged out longer than I could have imagined. But we're freaking buying a house. Its so amazing that we even have the opportunity to do that. And I have several other things to be thankful for about my life right this moment. I spend too much time dreaming of the future, even if its only seven days into the future, my mind is there and my heart longs for it, and then I miss out on what is right in front of  me. These things are right in front of me:

• for one year and one week, I have been married to my sweet man
• he bought me this book for our anniversary. I'm only a few stories in, and I've already cried several times 
• even though we now know I am not a top of the mountain vacation girl (whereas Miles was 100% in his element), Boo still loves me
• I trimmed by bangs last night and I don't look like a total dweeb (win!)
• even though its not "my" kitchen yet, I still lovelovelove cooking in it
• Boo got his hair cut for the first time in over a year last week, and it looks so. good.
• He also decided that he's going to cut his hair more often now. Glory halleluyer!
• my nanny baby was so happy to see me after over a week off work
• my heart nearly exploded when I saw le bebe after aforementioned work break
• Singin' in the Rain 60th anniversary showing on Thursday night (doh, thats in the future. but still)

No more pity parties, Bethany. Stop it.

On another note, I have so many photos in my camera from the past month. For the life of me, I cannot find my USB cord in any of our boxes!  I'm sure I'll end up ordering a new one, and then finding my old one immediately thereafter.

Just Some Thoughts

As I wait for Miles to come home from work on this beautiful Saturday, I find myself needing to express some thoughts. 

Dislikes:

-When I can't find what I want in used book stores

-When shipping costs more than the books on Amazon 

-Loving a novel, devouring each page, only to get to the end and be completely disappointed by it. 

-Finishing all the past seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix, only to realize that the current season is too far in for me to watch on Hulu. 

-Admitting how much I like Gossip Girl.

Likes:

-Open-mouthed, slobbery baby kisses

-Having so much time to read (even crappily ended YA novels)

-Young Adult novels. No shame. 

-Texting my sister about books/tv shows

-How she totally plays along with my whining/pining/exclaiming from 500 miles away

Missing:

-School? Kind of. Mostly having something that needs to be done. A task, assignment, deadline. (Because I obviously need something better to do with my time when all I have to talk about is what I'm reading and/or watching)

-Going to a coffee shop to get said task/assignment finished. 

-Chuck and Blair.

It is painfully obvious to me (and probably you) that my life is really not hard at all. And these likes and dislikes are incredibly superficial and silly...but this is my life! When I thought about what I wanted to do immediately after graduation/wedding times, I wanted to chill, to simplify, to regroup. And dang, thats definitely what I've done. My life is really basic and bare bones right now. Half of me is really ok with it, and the other half feels like a slacker. But I really do feel like I am where I'm supposed to be right now. I know I'm not going to nanny it up for the rest of my life. I think the half that feels like a slacker is the half that still tries to do what I feel is expected of me. What "the world", "others" expect of me...but as hard as it is sometimes, I'm choosing not to work with that (imaginary?) timeline. 

So bring on the YA novels and the ridiculous tv drama. I didn't really let myself have that all through college, and not even really in high school, or ever...so I'm making up for lost time. And let it also be known that I probably read more non-fiction than fiction. Just. In somewhat defense of this post...this post that has transformed into one of the weirdest posts ever. 

Right Now:

Reading: Too many books all at once. I'm afraid that I've become a serial book starter/non finisher. Also, my Amazon wish list is out of control. Things aren't looking up for me.

Eating: Too much, apparently. I just downloaded a new app that helps me record calorie, carb, sugar & protein intake. Let me tell you, its not looking too pretty. Its also supposed to help me track exercises and to meet a weight goal. We'll see. When my string bean husband wants pizza (or heaven help me, Mexican food), I can't say no. And therein lies my problem. 

Listening to:

Dear The Shins, I will always love you. Miles too...He will always love you, and I will always love him. And you.
 (album image via)

Planning: Our impromptu (its still impromptu for us if we decided a week in advance) getaway to Chattanooga this weekend. I can't wait to get away with Miles! I can be pretty stingy with money when it comes to...everything, normal life and vacations, but we've promised to stop thinking about it just have fun this weekend. I'm actually really looking forward to it. And its Chattanooga, we can't get into too much spending trouble there. I've scoped out restaurants, just booked the hotel, found a movie theater where we can see Titanic 3D...yep! And Miles thought I'd forget about that. Well, he hoped. Sorry fo'ya, boo. Jack and Rose are falling in love again, this weekend, in Chattanooga, on the Titanic, in 3D. And my tears will be 3D, too. (aka, real. and a lot of them)

Wearing: No more jeans until the fall. After dying from heat yesterday in the park, holding the nanny baby who only wanted down, whilst trying to coax a two-year old out from a teeny tunnel (as in, no way I could ever go in after him, even without the baby on my hip) he found in the shrubs...I'll pass on the jeans. At least the black skinny type. Also, maybe I should've put my hair up...

Watching: Still Gossip Girl. Still. And not even really ashamed of it anymore. Also, I started The Killing this weekend. Who killed Rosie Larson?!!

Loving: That I am going to mail my great-grandmother's birthday card later this afternoon. She will be 101 years old next Sunday (yes, she was alive when the Titanic sunk. Mind=blown)(I done told you I was obsessed). And my nanny baby turns 1 the day before. Oh, life. Oh, time. This is a photo of my Grandarling playing the piano in her crown of flowers at her 100th birthday party last year: 

Wanting: The weekend to be here, for it to be completely wonderful and exactly what Miles and I need.

Confessing: We feel change a brewin' in our little household. No, not babies, as far as we know. But we're dreaming for ourselves and our life together in a way that we haven't before and it feels really liberating. 

Third Thursday

Yeah, I know this is a day late. And that I've completely forgotten to do this since I first resolved to. But I'll try to do better, knowing that I have no excuses...

Here is a little list of things that I am thankful for, I fell asleep thinking about them once I realized I forgot about this post. It really was a wonderful way to fall asleep, even if I had weird dreams all night. (Correlation?) Anyways, I am thankful for these things:

• That we didn't end up buying the first house we fell in love with. It probably would have been a disaster.
• Miles watches Titanic documentaries with me, and that this week, it lead to him watching the first Downton Abbey episode. And liking it. 
• He also reads books that I love just so we can talk about them later.
• Discovering the Draw Something app. Is that a silly thing to be thankful for? So fun for me during my nanny days.
• After 4 days of me begging and pouting, Miles begrudgingly got the Draw Something app so I could play with him
• The way Miles cleans the kitchen up. 70% completion*, 100% effort.
• The nanny babe officially gives real hugs now. And they are the absolute best.
• Also, sometimes it sounds like she's speaking Parseltounge. She's the real HP. With parents and no scar. 
• I wore maxi skirts and sleeveless tops almost every day this week.
• Eating kale. Always.
• (and since this post is a day late) I am thankful for beautifully rainy, non-tornado-y stormy days.

Can I also reiterate how thankful I am for Miles? That he loves me, and likes me, and thinks I'm funny (but really, duh), and wants to spend time with me. I would like to say thats a given for husbands and wives, but he and I know that it isn't, and that makes us all the more grateful for what we have with each other. Boo, I crazy love you.

p.s. you're goofy.

*He cleans everything within his direct line of vision when he's standing in front of the sink. Even if the sink is piled high with stuff. Except, he'll move things over to the right of the sink so he has room to wash dishes, and then he forgets about the things he's moved. And if there is anything on the stovetop, it will stay there. Same with the coffee table (we still don't have a dining room table). In his defense, the coffee table isn't in the kitchen...

Right Now:

I saw this list of things on another blog that I recently began to read, and liked the idea of taking a given day and writing about the basics. I think mostly because my dorky, sentimental self will eat this up months/years from now. I like reminders of specific moments, likes, thoughts that I once had. This blog has been perfect for that. I can re-read and remember things that happened, and remember them so well. It gives me a wonderful sense of connection to the little things that make up the big things that make up my life. I journal, and have for ages, but I think I allow for more structured thoughts/comments/memories on this blog, knowing that its "out there" should others stumble upon it. This also serves as a reminder to me when I feel like I'm kind of defined by being a full-time nanny and not much else, that there actually is more than spit up and baby giggles and snotty noses and cuddle times. That is, until its my baby's spit up and giggles, and nose and cuddles. Then yes. That is all there is :) 

So there is my introduction (wow). This is what my life, days, moments consist of right now. 

Reading: One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp 

Its really making me re-think the way I go about my day and how cultivating a spirit of thankfulness can make a huge impact on everything else I do and any relationships that I have. 

Eating: Black olives. All the time. Its like I forgot they existed (and that I love them) up until a week ago...

Planning: Furniture arrangements in our (hopefully) future house. And possibly an anniversary trip, if we could ever deiced on a place to go. Yosemite!

 right? am I right?? (image found here via bbene on you guessed it, Pintrest)

Listening: To this song. Still. I jumped on the bandwagon a little late, but have held on for quite a while.

Wearing: My cozy Christmas present poncho that my mother-in-law initially bought thinking it was a scarf. Twas a wonderful surprise as I kept unfolding it. Really. My exclamations grew louder and louder the more it unfolded, and then it got kind of ridiculous when we all realized it was a poncho. 

Watching: Season 2 of Gossip Girl for the first time. Chuck Bass. So...I can't even find the words.

Loving: This idea from A Cup of Jo. Meeting Miles at the restaurant for a date, rather than getting ready together. Honestly. I can't remember the last time that happened. Even before the "getting ready together"ness. He'd always pick me up/wait for me to be ready and then drive. I pinned it so I'd remember. I'm also still loving Pintrest. I don't think that will ever end. My organizer's heart is full of organizing joy.

Wanting: Apart from closing on a house...a general personal shopping spree. Its been a while. 

Confessing: As mentioned in "listening", I only finally heard Somebody That I Used To Know after probably 20 of my facebook friends posted it onto their pages. And at least 100 (or so it feels like) friends posted about Kony 2012 before I finally watched it.* There is something in me that steers away from watching/listening/reading/wearing the newest things. Someone else signed me up for facebook in the beginning because I was so resistant. I have a twitter account, but don't remember what it is, and think I've only tweeted twice. With about a year's gap in between them. I don't think I consciously shy away from bandwagons (that is apparently the metaphor I have chosen to go with) for any specific reason, I guess I just want to like something because I like it and not because everyone else does? I was so the opposite of that mentality for most of my life, but now I'm pretty comfortable with being on this side of things. That being said, I'm sure I also miss out on stuff! I know I miss out on music. I'm so behind that it kind of gets overwhelming? In high school I was obsessed with finding and listening to new artists, it was actually really time consuming. Then I went to a music school for college and was half intimidated by everyone's knowledge/desire, half burned out by it. And I haven't ever really recovered. Now that I think of it, Nashville probably isn't the best place to recover from that...So yes, I know I miss out, but I am also kind of okay with that. And always being behind. Miles really only listens to old music (as in 30+ years old), so I'm in good company. 

Phew. First official (superficial) blog confession over. 

Hopefully I can think ahead to have some pictures to go along with these in the future.

*Although I think the video has several really good points, I have some slight reservations about Invisible Children that I could ramble on about, but will refrain. But to be fair, I am 100% supportive of raising awareness and taking action--but the right kind of action, effective action... Yikes, I've begun to type and deleted several more sentences. I really could talk about this for a while, it leads me to so many other things, I love having conversations about this. But I didn't even intend to have an asterisked part of this post. So. Fail. THE END!

Wait, here  and here (opinion #4)  are quick articles to read to give a hint of my hesitations about IC. 

Note to Self,

I need to remember to watch these:

My Week With Marilyn--I've been looking forward to this ever since they casted Michelle Williams.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows--Because its the kind of movie I would normally go see with my family over Christmas break. Now I just have to do it in solidarity from across the country. Maybe we can plan it out to where we go to the theater at kind of the same time? Too much?

Albert Nobbs--I think I may really love this. Glenn Close? Mia Wasikowska? 19th century Ireland?

The Darkest Hour--Will admit I'm a sucker for end of the world-esque story lines. 

The Descendants--Filmed on Oahu. The trailer made me homesick for my parents house. I  fully expect the movie to create a knot in my throat from missing my family partying it up without me in Hawaii this Christmas. Also, benches from my dad's church were borrowed as props for the movie! When the film people initially called my dad to ask if they could borrow them, he said only if he got to meet George Clooney. Even though they somehow couldn't arrange that (ha), I absolutely love that my dad asked. And that he knew who George Clooney was.

Beginners--Somehow I missed this in the theaters?? I've loved Ewan since I was a wee one watching the [terrible] new Star Wars. Ok, not such a wee one, but still pretty terrible. Regardless, my love for Ewan has only grown. And Captain Von Trapp apparently comes out in it. Has anyone seen it? Will I love it? Because I really want to. See it, and love it.

The Future--I love Miranda July. I love Me You And Everyone We Know. Miles and I always quote the little boy, "its spinning.....from the metal". Don't ask me how that ever comes into daily conversation, I wouldn't know what to tell you. That just gives you a little picture of how odd our conversations can get. And I missed this one as well. Even though we live 3 blocks from the theater. Fail.

Miles and I love movies. Films. Whatevs you want to call them. And we do think there is a difference. And that there is a mixture in list above. We used to go see every single movie we ever had even the slightest desire to see in the theater but then we realized, oh, this is so stupidly expensive. And then discovered redbox and started to practice patience and self control..and money saving. We also kind of decided that spending two hours in a dark movie theater kind of swallowed up a lot of quality time we could've otherwise had. Since we don't get a lot of that regularly, we try to protect whatever time we do get.

That being said, the six movies in my list that are now showing or will be showing in theaters soon...I want to see them all in the theater. That's what..at least $120...?!! Ok, after doing the extremely basic math that I had not thought of before...I'm going to have to settle for about half of that list. Insert pouty face. 

And really, this list was for my own use. And you just wasted about 5 minutes reading it. Gotchyaaazz!

So Very Thankful

Yes, I realize this post is a few days late for the actual Thanksgiving holiday, but I didn't plan ahead to post before we left to visit family and I didn't bring my computer along on the trip. I have so much to be thankful for, but I'll narrow it down to my top ten (in no specific order):

• a wonderful husband who makes me laugh so hard, and does everything in his power to coax me out of a bad mood
• my family, sometimes I can't believe how amazing they all are.  and that we're related.
• my nanny baby and how she cuddles
• Riesling, kale chips & Walking Dead evenings with mah Boo
• that my car is still running and gets us from A to B (please don't ever stop)
• walking to our wonderful church on crisp Sunday mornings
• wearing tights
• dreaming of our first house (and the gajillion Zillow posts we email to each other) and the puppy that we will adopt before even the first box is unpacked
• Miles giving his best effort to finish the Hunger Games series for me
• Boo finally conceding that it is now the Christmas season and we can finally decorate/pick out a tree/listen to music/watch christmas movies non-stop

There are big things that I am thankful for, as well as the million tiny things that fill my minutes, hours, days. My life is so wonderful. Miles and I have been so blessed. We both agreed not to let the spirit of thankfulness pass as we move into a new season. I hope to really be contemplative and reflective on a more daily basis. Every third Thursday of each month methinks is the new mini-thanksgiving for Miles and I and our little family. 

Once again, I failed completely at taking pictures this weekend. Just too busy having fun and stuffing my face with delicious foods. But I did make sure that Miles took a picture of the three siblings before they flew back to Chicago last night. Miles and I are SO EXCITED about our trip up to Chicago in February to hang out with these cool kidz.

So happy Caleb was here this year. Y'all, I have the best, coolest, most beautiful siblings. 

Happy late Thanksgiving!!

I Like These Things (Ahem, Miles)

I am never stumped when it comes to getting Miles a gift--at least I haven't been yet (knock on wood). Get something to do with guitars, or amps, or vinyl, or a western button up, or anything denim. The real gift with denim, is letting him wear every piece at once. As in jeans, button up & jacket. Those days are rare and therefore "special". But I like to believe that he enjoys them that much more because of it. 

But gift buying for me...I can see how it would be a teensy bit hard. So now that it is the month before my birthday (a fact that is blowing my mind), I will begin compiling a list of things to make birthday & Christmas shopping just a 'lil easier. Miles, I was about to type "take notes", but you don't really have to since you can just have this as your reference. 

1. A go-kart date 

2. A Smiling Elephant dinner

3. Sun Garden Riesling

4. A Christmas tree

5. A Christmas tree decorating evening, complete with eggnog, Elf and paper snowflakes

6. Finish the Hunger Games trilogy and quit pretending that you don't like it

7. A night at a fancy Chicago hotel for our February trip

8. A strawberry shortcake cupcake from Gigi's

9. General fuss-making over my 23rd.

10. This print, along with several others from this Etsy shop.

The End

I am (essentially) at the end of my undergraduate career. In about two and a half days everything will be official, but right now I am needing a serious pick-me-up and this post is going to attempt to meet that need.

Today actually started off pretty well, I had a job interview and I feel it went really well but am trying not to get my hopes up too much (or dream of how wonderful it will be) in case it doesn't work out. But at the same time I have had a sick feeling in my stomach, the kind of get when I'm about to get out of my comfort zone--even if its to do something I want! I've been in the full-time student/part-time retail bubble for 4 years and I'm so happy I am moving forward, its just also really....real.

But enough of talking about what I am trying to get my mind off of...here 10 things that have made me so happy this week:

1. Jackpot Goodwill finds (see below)
2. This video
3. A friend at work telling me about how she wanted to see this Titanic sequel
4. Same friend having to research to realize it aint forrealz (research on funnyordie.com, no less)
5. The related Facebook comments to to "trailer" both before and after her realization
6. Getting called for an interview
7. Interview going really well
8. Finishing school (how is this so low on the list?)
9. Hugs and kisses from my favorite almost-two year old boy
91/2. Hugs and kisses from my favorite almost twenty-five year old boy
10. Burgers

Bonus Happiness: Dad & sister coming to town tomorrow night for my graduation weekend!

Another Must See

Seriously. This is one of the sweetest, moving films I have ever seen. I was wrapped up in my blanket, tickled to death as 82-year-old Robert Malone prepared to go on his first date and as he falls in love with his new neighbor. It is the sweetest story of love, friendship and commitment. Its on Netflix's Instant Watch list and definitely now on my must buy DVD list.

I have this creeping suspicion that with school about to be completely over, I will be watching a lot more movies (like I did when I was but a wee Freshman without the faintest idea of the workload I would encounter in the years following my first in college). And hopefully I will also get serious about my "want to read" book list that has grown over the years. My first step to tackling that list is probably going to be compiling all the post-its, notebook papers and scrap sheets that have titles and authors scribbled on them to actually create a list that the rest of the world could recognize. Lists are my thang, so I should get on that asap. Don't worry, I won't spare this blog from any profound readings or enjoyed movies that I encounter. Don't you worry one bit.

So Guilty

(Cheeks full of candy)

I really shouldn't be allowed to every buy any more of these. I eat almost an entire package in one sitting. Swedish Fish are my guilty food pleasure (I definitely have guiltier other  pleasures, ones that should really never be mentioned cough, cough, Justin Bieber...) And Target has such a good deal for a whole freaking pound of these little suckers that I can never seem to pass them up*! In my defense, Swedish Fish are literally the only sweets I ever eat (unless you count spoonfuls of Nutella, please tell me that doesn't count).

On another note, I guess I am officially on my last spring break now. Too bad that means nothing at all for me. I will stay in Nashy and my to-do lists revolves around completely finalizing our wedding guest list and hopefully get all the invitations printed. Either way, our invitations will go out by the end of the month. Insaaannnee!!

Yesterday marked 4 months until the wedding, and Monday will mark one year of being engaged. I'm so  serious (and kind of overwhelmed) when I ask--but where has all the time gone?? (in a Jack Sparrow voice, obviously)

*I only almost eat a whole package when I buy one of the bags...I've never eaten a one pound container from Target in one sitting...

Do-over

Hokay, I couldn't live with the lack of assurance in yesterday's list-making so today I wrote out everything that I have due in the next three months. The first time I did this a few semesters ago it was kind of overwhelming to see everything all together and not broken up by the weeks of my planner...but at the same time it was so empowering to be able to look at everything at once and psych myself up to finish everything.
College has turned me into a huuuge nerd. Example: I am taking the things I learned in my Entrepreneurial Financial Management class to itemize and edit our wedding budget in excel, formulas and all. My 16-year-old self is making so much fun of my current day self. (Hey you, don't roll your eyes too far back--they'll get stuck)
This semester isn't actually that bad at all, which is definitely a welcomed realization on my part. I do have a internship/project that I have yet to really figure out what all that will entail...and a second 8 week course that I don't have a syllabus for (therefore no due dates to be aware of yet)..but its a 1950s film class that has no required texts. I'm totes okay with having movie homework.

I'll trade you one senior project and presentation for 10 movie viewing assignments. 20.


Miles came over for dinner after he got off from work and I made spanish rice with black beans and beef. Its sooo good and super easy...and I make it every time he comes over for dinner. I told him tonight that he wasn't allowed to get sick of it for another few years. Too bad, buddy.

Oh yeah!! I went to the mall after work today (bleh) to return something to Forever 21 before my stupid 21 days were up and I was stuck with a weird impulse exchange (not an actual purchase...maybe a purchase thrice removed would be a more accurate description). And I wandered into one of those store with cheapo shoes...you know, with "Bobs" that look exactly like "Toms"? (...?!) I wanted to get some shoe deodorizer for Miles nasty work boots he left in my car over the weekend, which I did eventually buy--but more importantly I found my shoes for the wedding!
I've been eyeing some Steve Madden glittery-type flats but held off to see if I found something else I liked, for cheaper than stupid $50. I mean  even though they're for one of the most important days of my life...I'm still pretty much only going to wear them one time. I'm not a glittery flat wearing type of girl normally, I'm more of a Minnetonka moccasin girl (as in, I've worn through 3 pairs of the same moccasin and will purchase a 4th when the weather gets warmer). Anyways you probably guessed it, but I totally found the "Bobs" of Steve Madden glitter flats for (wait for it.......) $17!! I texted a picture of them to my mom and all my bridesmaids to ask their opinion on the shoes and whether I should get them, but I had already paid for them and began walking back to my car before any of them even had a chance to reply.

I am one happy girl, and that itemized wedding budget is due for an update.

Motivation

I feel like I have so many things to do...and that they all need to be done right this moment, when in reality I have until May-ish/end-of-June-ish to get most everything done. But still. Here is a little list (most for myself, as writing, and re-writing lists is a huge dorky comfort to me) along with some thoughts/emotions concerning the task:

Task: For the remainder of my 8 week online class--read a novel each week.
Thoughts: Absolutely no time to enjoy!

Task: For the remainder of my last semester--do all those assignments.

Thoughts: Over ittttt

Task: Clean out my closet--give to Goodwill

Thoughts: Didn't I just  do that? 

Task: Immediately leave the Goodwill area upon dropping off donations--do not go in to the store and repurchase the exact same amount of clothes to re-fill aforementioned closet

Thoughts: But I'm already going to be right there....

Task: Schedule a hair appointment
Thoughts: I'm kind of nervous to show up after all this time (literally months and months) and let my wonderful hair stylist see all these spit ends. Don't hate me, I'm too broke to get regular trims!!

Task: Carry out all of our wedding plans and actually book the honeymoon

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

Task: Hang with the boo

Thoughts: Forevveerrrrrrr

Okay, task list writing in a public forum apparently only makes the overwhelmed feeling grow into being even bigger than it was before.

Note: Miles is hugely supportive of my student-hood and equally excited for it to be over. He always offers to help or encourages me through my melt downs--and believe you me, I have a mini-melt down every week or so throughout the semester. I freak, I close my eyes and say I can't do it, then I magically do it, peak through one eye just long enough to experience the last week of classes then sigh a breathe of relief and say "oh, that wasn't so bad". He's a good sport. This is the last time he'll have to deal with that cycle for a while.