Pause

Jackson skies over the weekend

If it wasn't already pretty obvious, I'm taking a lil' break. Miles keeps asking me to put up new posts, but I'm just not feeling it. Everything is wonderful, but I feel a bit like a broken record on here. So I won't bore you with the same details, and I'll continue to focus on being present and thankful in each moment. The end! For now.

Whiney Post

Uhhh, where did November go? 

I was basically sick the whole month. Between my first migraine, the thousand headaches that followed, ER visits, doctor dealings, a claustrophobic MRI, and trying not to think that I have a serious illness (I don't)...this month would have been exhausting even if it hadn't had a birthday, thanksgiving, and all the family and celebrating that comes with the season. Don't get me wrong, I loved my birthday and I loved having everyone over for thanksgiving, but having to peace out and take naps every day to get over a headache kind of sucked.

And so far, December hasn't really looked too relaxing either. We were out of town yesterday and are trying to plan a trip to see the newest family member (I must see bebe) before Christmas. And then theres Christmas! Oy vey, y'all. 

I could seriously go on and on, but basically I'm just feeling really drained and unable to fully appreciate my favorite time of the year. I miss my family so much, I feel like a terribly absent friend,  Rowan keeps us up most of the night, our house is a mess (which really stresses me out), work is really exhausting, and I draw a complete blank when I think about what I'm going to do once my nanny gig is up in the summer. 

I was sharing all this with Miles last night on top of feeling like I'm really struggling with living in the present, without becoming complacent. Even as I type all of this I feel so scatterbrained and overwhelmed. How do I shut my planner mind up?

I really wish we were going to my parents for Christmas this year, why does flying to Hawaii for Christmas (or ever) have to be so expensive! We're really hoping to make it happen next Christmas, we should've started saving for that months ago, but I'm pretty determined to make it happen. I'm okay with a warm Christmas as long as its with my family.

To Health

Well, I had my first migraine experience last week, and it was a solid eight day ordeal. I still don't feel 100% normal, but I am so very thankful to be able to function again! I'm still taking things really slowly and not trying to take on too much at once, but that can be difficult while taking care of two children under the age of two. I'm thankful for bosses who understand when I need to rest and a husband who takes care of everything so I can do so. I'm also really hoping to be back to normal before this weekend and subsequent birthday celebrations! 

While Rowan wasn't attacking my feet or destroying our house, he was a wonderfully adorable cuddle partner during my sick days.

He's gotten a little crazy lately, but we still love him to pieces. 

Junior Reminder

My junior year of high school, I had this friend who was unlike any other friend I'd ever had. Apart from having tons of fun together, we also leaned on each other pretty hard during some rough times that year. We've definitely gone our separate ways, living very different lives, on very opposite sides of the planet. But we will always have junior year. And I am a better person because of this friendship. One thing we both loved, was Dashboard Confessional. May I continue to remind you this was at the age of sixteen. And if ever I hear a Dashboard song, I immediately feel like that sixteen year old again. We used to tell each other to "remember to breathe*" during our various individual rough times. All that to say, I am reminding myself to breathe today. I tend to let everything build up in my head, and that always makes it worse than it is reality. So I need to inhale, exhale, and let every worry, stress, thought float away.

Source: destina-terre.tumblr.com via Bethany on Pinterest

Closing on our house was amazing, but we quickly realized we really needed to pace ourselves with all of our home projects. We have a lot of home projects, most of which are pretty expensive (for us, at least). We also need new cars, both of us. Yay! Not. We are eager to be able to adopt some kittens and pups, but need to get a few things sorted before that. I am faced with some decisions about my nannying job, and making those decisions with a lot of people. And all these decisions also make me think about life after nannying, whenever that is, whatever that will look like. All that to say, I feel pretty stretched thin. Very thankful, but very overwhelmed. 

So sometimes I just need to remind myself to breath, even if the rest of the song doesn't apply. (Because when would it?...I only sometimes wear blue)

*re-listening to this song...just...wow. 

And Its Only Monday

At 11 in the morning, no less. 

It has definitely been one of those mornings. And I feel like I've complained too much lately, when good stuff really is happening, so I won't go into details. Because its stupid stuff anyways. But oh, how that stupid stuff burrows under your skin and makes you want to curl up and go back to bed. And it also makes you teary eyed at this picture :

Source: thisis.something-else.com.au via Bethany on Pinterest

Because even though you were on vacation at the beginning of this month...you need another one. And you need it to be Fall already and not so gross outside. Because you can almost feel the cool, crisp air in your lungs and on your cheeks when you see this picture. And that makes you sad, and its just a picture! So then you feel like a loser.

Or you'd also take simply closing on the house that you've been squatting living in for the past month (living in legally, promise). Closing on said house and being able to hang pictures, or put in your washer and dryer, or installing a phone jack so you can have internet and remember to pay your bills..

Or just...other things, like not being in stressful situations that are only occurring because you don't know how to say "no" sometimes. You really need to learn.

So while you learn, I will be looking forward to this weekend, with the start of the Olympics, getting to see this movie, going to the flea market, and hopefully being done with all the house buying junk by then. Hopefully. 

Le Sigh, Will I Ever Learn?

I threw myself a pathetic pity party before I went to sleep last night. Miles did his best to cheer me up, but I was deep in it...for the smallest reasons (adding up to something a touch overwhelming). We still haven't closed. I've unpacked a little more of our stuff, but was reminded Friday that this house still isn't ours when the seller's wife came by the house and asked  bunch of weird questions about closing. We've been waiting for a month to close on this house, held up by a lot of things to do with the seller leaving the country (for a family emergency) without signing the proper documents for our closing. And on Friday, his wife basically asked me what the hold up was...

So there's that. 

And then a bunch of little silly things that I let build up in my mind, resulting in last night's tearfest.

Then, I woke up this morning feeling like a fool and my eyes still stinging from crying over...nothing, basically. Nothing that should hold any real weight in my life. Yes, we haven't really felt like we're at "home" for a couple months now, this process his dragged out longer than I could have imagined. But we're freaking buying a house. Its so amazing that we even have the opportunity to do that. And I have several other things to be thankful for about my life right this moment. I spend too much time dreaming of the future, even if its only seven days into the future, my mind is there and my heart longs for it, and then I miss out on what is right in front of  me. These things are right in front of me:

• for one year and one week, I have been married to my sweet man
• he bought me this book for our anniversary. I'm only a few stories in, and I've already cried several times 
• even though we now know I am not a top of the mountain vacation girl (whereas Miles was 100% in his element), Boo still loves me
• I trimmed by bangs last night and I don't look like a total dweeb (win!)
• even though its not "my" kitchen yet, I still lovelovelove cooking in it
• Boo got his hair cut for the first time in over a year last week, and it looks so. good.
• He also decided that he's going to cut his hair more often now. Glory halleluyer!
• my nanny baby was so happy to see me after over a week off work
• my heart nearly exploded when I saw le bebe after aforementioned work break
• Singin' in the Rain 60th anniversary showing on Thursday night (doh, thats in the future. but still)

No more pity parties, Bethany. Stop it.

On another note, I have so many photos in my camera from the past month. For the life of me, I cannot find my USB cord in any of our boxes!  I'm sure I'll end up ordering a new one, and then finding my old one immediately thereafter.

Record Screech

You know...to a halt? The music is playing and everything is fine (or overwhelming) and then the record screeches and you're like, whaa? Thats me. Probably us, I just haven't spoken to busy, working Miles yet. Our closing date was pushed back a week, the night before we were scheduled to close. As in, last night. 

Its not really anyones fault, per say. We actually originally wanted to close next week, but the seller pushed for the 12th and we didn't really mind. But lo and behold, ya can't get everything mortgagey and appraisally done in 3 weeks! I've been super stressed about packing and having moving nightmares, and sad that we don't get to spend our last week before moving in our apartment (we're dog sitting in the burbs). And now...we'll have that last week in our apartment. Our completely packed apartment. Kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, tv, clothes, internet. I guess I got what I wanted? Less stress, time at the apartment, one last week in Hillsboro Village, one last week walking everywhere...But I still feel a little sense of a wompwomp growing somewhere inside. We'll figure something out. Unpack a few pots and pans, two dishes, two glasses, and maybe the wireless router. We'll have a bigger paycheck under our belts (in our bank?) next week, so I probably won't have nightmares of the movers asking for $5,000 after they've finished their job. This will be good!! It was just unexpected. And very last minute. The lastest minute possible. But this will be good. I will make it so.

And thus, my mental transformation in a paragraph's time.

 image from this amazing blog

Just Some Thoughts

As I wait for Miles to come home from work on this beautiful Saturday, I find myself needing to express some thoughts. 

Dislikes:

-When I can't find what I want in used book stores

-When shipping costs more than the books on Amazon 

-Loving a novel, devouring each page, only to get to the end and be completely disappointed by it. 

-Finishing all the past seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix, only to realize that the current season is too far in for me to watch on Hulu. 

-Admitting how much I like Gossip Girl.

Likes:

-Open-mouthed, slobbery baby kisses

-Having so much time to read (even crappily ended YA novels)

-Young Adult novels. No shame. 

-Texting my sister about books/tv shows

-How she totally plays along with my whining/pining/exclaiming from 500 miles away

Missing:

-School? Kind of. Mostly having something that needs to be done. A task, assignment, deadline. (Because I obviously need something better to do with my time when all I have to talk about is what I'm reading and/or watching)

-Going to a coffee shop to get said task/assignment finished. 

-Chuck and Blair.

It is painfully obvious to me (and probably you) that my life is really not hard at all. And these likes and dislikes are incredibly superficial and silly...but this is my life! When I thought about what I wanted to do immediately after graduation/wedding times, I wanted to chill, to simplify, to regroup. And dang, thats definitely what I've done. My life is really basic and bare bones right now. Half of me is really ok with it, and the other half feels like a slacker. But I really do feel like I am where I'm supposed to be right now. I know I'm not going to nanny it up for the rest of my life. I think the half that feels like a slacker is the half that still tries to do what I feel is expected of me. What "the world", "others" expect of me...but as hard as it is sometimes, I'm choosing not to work with that (imaginary?) timeline. 

So bring on the YA novels and the ridiculous tv drama. I didn't really let myself have that all through college, and not even really in high school, or ever...so I'm making up for lost time. And let it also be known that I probably read more non-fiction than fiction. Just. In somewhat defense of this post...this post that has transformed into one of the weirdest posts ever. 

Womp#3

I guessed I kind of wished for a decision to be made for us, and it kind of was. Turns out that we would basically need cash for the renovations on that Victorian. And no, we don't have 50k sitting around in our bank account. I know, right? Who wouldn't have that? Pssh.
So it's the new house. I guess? I say that, now watch us lose that one too.

Its fun to dream of a house to make a home, but we're now on our fourth possible house. That's a lot of rearranged dreaming. My dreamer hurts. (boohoo, poor little me)

One Of Those Weeks...

Its been one of those long weeks, where I feel like every day should be Friday already. And for no specific reason, really. I just couldn't believe it every single day (until today) that it wasn't the end of the week yet. And now that its here, I feel a mixture of "what took you so long?" and "well it doesn't matter anyways since tomorrow Miles has to work and I have to babysit just like every other day of the week". If that last one counts as a feeling. Its more of a thought? I still feel quite strongly about it. To make the week feel longer, the internet has been out at my nanny baby's house, so I've used up most of my allotted... 3Gness way before our billing period is up. Of course the internet is back on now. The last hour of the work week.

I didn't mean to have such a negative post. This week has just felt so full. The nanny babe is pulling up on everything now, which makes me super nervous. So I'm nervous all the time now. And she finds it hilarious when I put her down for a nap. She will literally just sit in her crib and laugh for an hour until she realizes "wait, this isn't funny" and then she cries. She's figured out how to misuse her "I'm in pain!" cry for those moments. It took me a few days to figure out that she was faking it. She's also spitting up a lot. I think its because she moves around so much more and her belly can't deal. So I just follow her around and make sure she doesn't topple over, whilst also cleaning spit up...up. My days are lovely!

On the possible home front: we have two completely different estimates for the work that needs to be done on the house we want to buy, which means we need to get a third to see which price range is more realistic. I can't find any other companies to come out to the house until next Friday, when we were hoping to have everything done and negotiated by Wednesday at the latest. We either need closure, or we need to start packing. And we won't know which to focus on until we get the third estimate and begin negotiations. Miles and I have been working our butts off to have money for all that will come if we buy the house and for our trip to Chicago next weekend. So its been guitar working, nannying, retail and lots of on the side babysitting. All that equals very little time together. And when I'm a nanny for 50+ hours a week, babysitting is literally the last thing in the world  that I want to do. Is that mean to say? I'm married. I want to see my husband for more than an hour in between kiddo watching. Not that I don't adore all the little ones I watch, I really do. I just adore my husband more. And miss him. 

Still with the negativity!! I won't post again until I have something wonderful. Or at least silly.

Screeching Halt

So, maybe I jumped the gun with my extreme enthusiasm over the house. We had our home inspection yesterday and they found cracks in the exterior walls. Wompwomp. So we're meeting with our Realtor to see what our next steps can be. At least Miles and I agree that we're not going to buy a house that could have something wrong with the foundation. That would just be dumb. So now, we're just trying to let go. Not of the house entirely, but just of the situation. If we're really supposed to buy this house, then it will work out. If not, we'll just have more time to save money  and find something else. And I'm really trying to be okay with that. 

At least I have not one, but two kiddos to cuddle with today (and that its almost nap time for both of them)(Don't judge)

Bored or Boring?

I can't tell if I am just generally bored during the days, or if I have, sadly, become boring...I think its a little bit of both? I have nothing in my life to plan right now. For a little while, I really struggled with that. I had planned our wedding for 15 months, planned my monthly/weekly/semesterly schedule for four years. Juggled multiple jobs, projects, papers, being with Miles, having friends to see, staying up late...And now I watch a baby almost ten hours a day, five days a week. Most of my friends have either moved or have schedules so different from my own that I haven't seen them since either graduation or the wedding. 

I can think about grad school, think about my next job, think about buying a house, think about having babies--but none of that is going to happen any time soon, so theres not much to be done about it. I'm really trying to focus on living in the present. Loving these first few years of being Miles' wife. I've heard from so many (ahem, older) couples that their happiest memories were from when they were poor newlyweds, trying to figure out how to be married, how to be adults...So I don't want to miss these days! I don't want to dream of our future and miss out on how we get there. But I feel like there could be a fine line between being content and being complacent. 

Reel it in, reel it in. I'll admit it, I love Coldplay. People hate on them. Yes, they're so huge, Miles sticks his nose up at them because they don't have guitar solos. But I can't always listen to rock n roll. And I can't help it if this would be my go-to music for any sort of existential experience. It just is, alright? And this song from their new album is so beautiful I could cry. And I feel like its just pour moi.

Slow it down, Bethany. (my mind, not my actions...as discussed throughout this entire post)

Also, that video box just seems so tiny...

..Doing what?

I feel like we've been super busy the past few weeks, but I can't actually think of what we've been busy doing..Definitely not capturing any of those busy moments with my phone. Looking through them, I've even cut back on taking baby pictures. Whaaa? So here is what I've been doing lately, according to my phone. Its pretty accurate, I suppose. 

November is so soon. November is the best. This November I turn 23, and a week after that, I get to celebrate Thanksgiving with some of the people I love most in the whole world (and miss my parents at the same time) 

Also in November, we can finally use this Groupon I bought in September  not realizing that I had to select a specific month in which the Groupon could be used (and apparently selected November). Food! Yay!

Grad School?

Shmrad Schmool.

I have no idea what to do whenever my nanny gig ends, which could be any time this spring, summer, or another year away. What lovely certainty! I don't know if I should just try my hand at a real world job, or head back and snag another degree for my...degree belt. Because its a little empty right now with just a diploma and a BS in a mildly regretted major. But I'll tell you whats not empty, is our big ole bucket of student loans. To add to that bucket, or not add? Either way, there isn't a whole lot that I can do about it right now. Except for talk to Miles about it all the time. Sorry, boo. 

On another, completely unrelated note..how incredible are s'mores? How am I still surprised each fall season by how much I love them? I wish we had a yard to have a fire pit in. We would have s'mores every single night. One day....one day.

(Image from this website..honestly, I googled s'mores images. Mmmmmm)

Yeesh...

This week has been a tad bit trying with the nanny baby. Poor thing has a stopped up nose and can't sleep well because of it. Her naps have been all over the place and now that the week is almost over, I can feel it taking a toll on my brain. Apparently she sleeps just fine during the night, probably because she is not sleeping at all when I'm here during the day. Her frustrated cries officially give me frustrated headaches. 

I am in definite need of the weekend. Normally I'm pretty whatevs in my feelings toward "needing" a break. I'm just a nanny, I know this. But this weekend couldn't come sooner. Hallelujer. After spending an obscene amount of money on tires yesterday (and being told more work would have to eventually done on my piece of crap car), Miles trying to throw a "let buy a house when our lease is up" on me the other day, a two-year old baby eye poker on Tuesday and a sick little one all week, bring on the weekend.  And I'm not making any plans either. I found a Target gift card the other day and bought Bridesmaids with it and intend to watch it at least twice. We've also had Thor sitting in its unopened Netflix envelope for a few weeks. So couch potato weekend it is. I also need to psych myself up do start a Master Cleanse on Monday. I'm scared I'll starve. But I want to do it so bad!

Also, I would like a couch like this

To be a potato on. (Ikea, please come to Nashy)

Side confession: I am so tempted to purchase every single haunted house related Groupon that I get in my email. Miles, pleeeeeeaasseee go with me this year?

Last Name Game

So how long is it supposed to take for me to remember my last name has changed? I guess I haven't ever straight up forgotten that I have a new last name..but I keep having those weird gut moments when I have to say my full name and am required to pause before I give it. Even when my newly alliterated name leaves my lips, in the back of my head I think, "really?"

For months (possibly years, shh) I have ben dreaming of this last name that I now have...so what gives? I suffered mild separation anxiety after the wedding when I thought of no longer having my parent's and sibling's last name. So I made it my middle. Its not the absolute best full name, doesn't flow that well. My former last name, maiden, if you will, was something that could only ever be a last name..and here I am, turning it into a middle. So heres to still being part Gaskins and getting used to ending in Benefield. And farewell to my one true middle name, Grace. You will always remain in my heart.

P.s. Can you tell I have nothing at all to write about? But I am trying to stick with this blog. 

I had lunch with a good friend today and I moaned about being so boring all the time and how I play mommy all during the weekdays (and love it). But can't really have a mommy blog because this babe aint mine. You just wait...

Chicken Salad

Just typing that subject in kind of made me feel queasy. I was super dumb today and I hope I don't suffer the repercussions much longer*. I brought chicken salad to work today for my break and totally forgot to put it in the fridge. So it sat out for a little over 3 hours until I got back to the break room and realized what I had done (or failed to do..). But by that time I was so hungry and I thought surely it would be fine to eat it.
Wrong!

Within about 5 minutes of my break ending my stomach began to hurt. And it only continued to get worse. I just wanted to lie down and sleep it off. No more standing, no more ringing people's purchases up, no more trying to be friendly. So I ask if I can go home and hour early and thankfully my manager (and friend,  phew) let me. I contemplated whether getting into traffic with a not-so-stable stomach was the best thing to do. How terribly gross would it be if I had to vom while driving down the interstate? But whatevs, I did it anyways (looking back, by decision maker must have been missing a screw or something today). I drove to Miles', commandeered his bed and mumbled the ingredients he needed to get for dinner. And some Tums.
He offered to get pasta to make for dinner. I said no. He then offered to "get some beef?" I said.....no. He then offerend to get "a chicken salad" to which I thought I would definitely vom at the thought of eating more of that devil salad. He said, "not chicken salad. A salad with chicken..."
Then we opted for soup. And by we, I mean I told him I wanted it.

Sweet thang got all the groceries and even began to make dinner himself. He even rubbed my sore back until it felt better, and then rubbed it some more until it hurt again :)
I'm getting a sweet deal in this whole partner for life thing with him. He is the best.

*Not in any gross way. I just hope the mere thought of chicken salad doesn't continue to make me feel sick, because I do lurv it so..

Sweets

I was in such a pitiful/grumpy/sleepy mood today I feel bad that Miles had to hang out with me. But at the end of running all of our errands he took me to Sweet Cece's to try and cheer me up. It half-worked (seriously, I was such a major bummer today). But boy, oh boy do I have a sweet man.

I don't know what I would do without Miles' patience and constant forgiveness for my crabbiness. 

I really hope I'm not getting sick or something. After about 3PM every afternoon this past week I have been hit by a huge wall of tired that just makes the rest of my day completely miserable. 

Poor Miles had do deal with my super short temper and my lost sense of humor last night as we began labeling all our invitation envelopes. I think I've mentioned before that we're going the DIY/simple/easy/cheap route for our wedding. So we've printed all the address labels ourselves--I definitely made that more difficult than necessary. But now I am working on printing our invitations and rsvp postcards myself and it is proving to be a little more taxing and time consuming than I had planned on. My evening has been spent coaxing the printer into printing everything in black ink and not red...(??)

I really hope I can finish all this tomorrow--but it will take a (Christmas) miracle for all technologies and ink cartridges to join together for the good of inviting people to our wedding. And probably a ton of bugging my roommate (soon to be courtyard neighbor--moving date: Fridaaayyy). I think tomorrow I will skip (aka-drag myself through the rain) down a few blocks to the post office to get a billion stamps for all these envelopes. I hope they have rolls and rolls of stamps with pictures of kittens in baskets of yarn or baby ducks dressed up construction gear. That would add the perfect touch to our invitations.

A Wee Story For Ya All...(actually, its kind of long)

Today was just not my day.
I woke up this morning and laid in my bed for about ten minutes trying to lift my heavy limbs out from underneath the covers. I had already hit the snooze on my alarm about 5 times and was definitely behind schedule. I began to get ready and of course I messed up my makeup (of course, only on the days I have no time to deal...) I tried to fix it with the ole q-tip and makeup remover but the makeup remover I had just purchased the day before that said "oil-free" was definitely not free of oil. So then my danged eyeliner wouldn't even go on after that!

Giving up on looking at all like I hadn't just rolled out of bed (even though I had...), I threw on my clothes, decided my bed hair (fluffy pillow-dried) had to do, and went to try and find comfort in nutella and toast for a quick breakfast to inhale as I headed to school. But noooooo, our dumb fridge decided to leak weird freezer water all over my bread*, leaving me with sog and nothing to toast. My roommate offered me one of her granola bars, such a sweet thang, my rooms.

I normally walk to my school since we only live a few blocks away, but this morning I had planned on driving so that I could head straight from my last class to a meeting without having to high tale it back to my car at the apartment to make it there on time. The thing about parking at my school...and apparently any university, is that you have to get there early to find a parking spot. And I was definitely running the opposite of early.

"Alas!" I said to myself, "I still have time to run and get an iced latte!", and normally that would have been true. But I had still not fully realized that today was just not my day. I briskly walked to the coffee shop next to the school, thinking that there wouldn't be a line at this time on a Tuesday because there is never a line this time on a Tuesday. You guessed it. There was a line. But by the time I got there I was so determined to have one thing my way (an iced latte) that I stubbornly waited for something that normally takes about 2 minutes to get on a Tuesday morning, but on this particular morning, took about 15.

I was completely late--not late to class--late to my professor's car, where he and my fellow classmates were waiting on me to head to a site visit. My lateness was making everyone else late. The slight incline of the campus, combined with my heavy bag, my sleepy body and my nutella-toastless tummy resulted in embarrassingly heavy breathing upon apologetically cramming into the aforementioned car.
Flash forward to me sitting in the board room of the site we visited, realizing that I had failed to put on deodorant in my rush to get ready**. Luckily the day was cool and I had multiple layers on. But now I would obsess over my armpits until I could get home to that stupid little clicky-bar-stick and ground it for taking a day off. A half-day. Bad, clicky-bar-stick, bad!


After my second class, I had a little while to go home, deodorize, and eat lunch--since I also hadn't had time to grab anything that morning. I went for the left-over greek, surely this would turn my day around. Delish, no? I pulled out the tupperware container before I had time to notice the little puddle of freezer water that had gathered on the top. But don't you worry, I had plenty of time to notice the freezer water when it was all down my leg and soaking into my cozy slippers. Cuss you, freezer water!! (Thankfully there was no freezer water actually inside the container, at least somebody was doing their job today--ahem, recycled turkey container...)

My last class consisted of a guest speaker who gave us a brief introduction (as in...just their name and job title), then sat down and asked us what questions we had for them....??? I thought to myself, of course you are today's guest. The meeting I mentioned went well--we just went over how I would be spending my spring break handing out pamphlets and event invitations in the legislative plaza downtown. Spring Break 2011!!.....

I picked up some groceries and decided to make a delicious dinner for my hard-working man who would be coming over shortly. At home, I opened up the ricotta in my fridge and almost LOST IT when I thought I saw freezer water in it, then I remembered it was just the whey. (right?) But just to make sure, I smelled it. Right after smelling it I realized the following:
1) I don't know what ricotta is supposed to smell like
2) I don't know what freezer water is supposed to smell like
But I had had enough of this "not being my day" business and resolved to used it anyways. When in doubt, eat the cheese....? Just in case it was freezer water, I decided to try and drain it out. BRILLIANT IDEA, BETHANY. I tipped the container over just a wee bit, holding the ricotta chunk back with a spoon then boom, ricotta ---> sink.
I'm sure I could have salvaged some of it...but come on, gross. Also, I was furious by this point. So then, ricotta ---> trash. I'll teach you for obeying the laws of gravity!!!




Annnnddd really that was the end of things sucking. I made dinner, it was fine, Miles eats anything anyways (except chicken....too bad all the recipes I've inherited/grown up with are for chicken). I'm so poor, my boy gave me some money :)) But really, from the wedding budget for things that I had bought (for the wedding). I think I've found the place we're going to go on our honeymoon--and we may book it soon! The thought of having that amount of money coming out of our savings makes me want to throw up though. I think Miles feels the same, though he wouldn't admit it. Only one of us gets to worry/freak out/get nervous. And I have dibs for life.
I also finished my convocation credits tonight! My roommate came with me to a wind ensemble concert and it was actually really amazing. But now that last convo credit that has been on my account for 2 years has been fulfilled and I am one step closer to graduating! To celebrate my finished convo requirements, the school even had fancy sparkling grape juice waiting for us after the event!! Maybe it was for the ensemble...and maybe the juice tasted really gross with my minty gum. But today is over. And tomorrow will be mine, ALL MINE.

*I don't eat loaves of bread (or any bready-type food for that matter) fast enough to prevent them from getting old and moldy, so I put them in le fridge and they keeep and keeeep and keep.
**Which just makes me feel like an awkward middle school girl again...